Twilight Faith blog

I think when we are inspired by others, be it to a more noble character, or a life of love and self-sacrifice, we are also indirectly inspired by the idea that it is possible to inspire others.

As a child growing up I had always been very antisocial and quiet, because I did not care for the company of most people and never learned how to carry a conversation. This rather crippling state persisted until very late in my teenage years. As I grew in my faith and love for God, this naturally awakened in me the desire for fellowship with those who felt the same, and I became quite active in a campus fellowship. I still didn’t talk much. But the love, instruction and encouragement I received from my brothers and sisters (as I look back, I think it must have been a real trial for them) fed my heart and my faith, and one day I realized that I wanted to do the same for others.

That was the first time I had ever thought to myself, I really wish I knew how to talk to people. I asked God for help, and began to work very hard to learn how to speak my thoughts, interact with people, and develop relationships. I was 19 years old by this time, trying to learn what most people start figuring out in elementary school. It was hard and awkward at times, but I my desire to change was strong and I was surrounded by gracious people who never seemed to notice my awkwardness.

When I was 20, I went abroad for graduate studies, and I literally changed so much in the first 4 months that friends at home started commenting, and friends I made abroad couldn’t believe it when I said I used to be antisocial. As I see it, I didn’t have much of a choice — if I didn’t look for a church and campus fellowship, no one would do it for me. So I went here and there, talking to people, trusting God to lead me to the right place. At one church, I was explaining to someone how I wasn’t really there to study, but rather wanted to to make the best of the next 2 years to do God’s work. I thought this was a perfectly normal attitude for a Christian to have, and was very surprised when the guy I was talking to said he was encouraged by what Ihad said. (Much much later, I learned that my school was the kind that undergraduate students kill themselves trying to get in, and once they do, the tuition system and grade curving encourages them to take as many courses as they can handle, and study to come out on top. One Christian I met testified that the members of his home church had essentially written him off with a “we’ll be praying for you” when he announced his decision. No wonder it was encouraging to hear someone say they weren’t there to study.) Of course, I was delighted that I had actually encouraged someone (hey, there’s a first time for everything right?), and in my heart I praised God mightily for His work in my life.

The point of me telling this story is that as brothers and sisters in Christ, we are called to love one another, to build each other up in faith, and encourage each other. I cannot begin to count the ways in which I have been blessed and built up through articles, sermons, blogs and other resources I have found online, particularly as someone who was late in learning to talk face-to-face with people. I can’t stand in front of large groups of people and talk, but I know I can write, so I hope God will use this. I am not blessed with great knowledge of the Bible, I know little of ministry, I am far from being gracious or abounding in Christ-likeness, and my life isn’t exactly an inspirational example. But I pray that by God’s grace all of these things will change, just as my own life testifies to me that He is able to do more than I can ever conceive of or imagine. And as I write, I pray that it will be words that build up faith.